After traveling all day to get home from a Kundalini Yoga Teacher training, I felt like I was still buzzing for days. Not that caffeine buzz so many of us are intimately familiar with. Not the stressful murmur from too much inner chatter or outer chaos. Not the dull hum from lack of sleep or the energized whir after a workout. It was the buzz of my own inner goddess and how this goddess radiates and reflects the beauty of the Divine within.
My husband commented on this radiance that projected from within me as I began sharing some of my insights from the training. He actually stopped me mid-sentence with the lit-up eyes of a child on Christmas Day and so lovingly commented that I was actually glowing!
He then went on to tell me how beautiful I am and then proceeded to ask me if I KNOW how beautiful I am. Of course, what does a woman say (or anyone say) and think when their partner says something so wonderful? I immediately felt a warm shower of radiant energy caress my being as I felt seen and loved.
Do You Diminish Complements?
I have a tendency, like so many women, to diminish compliments. Me beautiful? Most of my childhood was constant ridicule of teasing and taunting, name-calling about how tall and skinny I was, how my hair looked like a bird’s nest, how I wore high water pants to school, and had buck teeth.
In Grade School, through Junior High, I was thin and gangly, and taller than most of the girls and many of the boys. That in itself wasn’t so bad, it was the fact that I was also so shy that I could barely work up the courage to talk on the phone let alone speak up for myself in school. This led to being a target for what I deemed the “mean kids” that today we would call bullies.
Throughout my school years, I was active, healthy, and rarely sick. I had an appetite that most grown men would be proud of, but this didn’t stop the name “spider legs” that I was dubbed by the mean kids. I remember my teacher in the 5th grade asked me about my diet and if I took vitamins. She proceeded to tell me I was too skinny and didn’t look healthy. When I told her I had a great appetite and took vitamins every day, she rolled her eyes and said some other things I won’t get into. I enviously looked at the girls with short, sturdy statures who were bubbly, outgoing, and popular and longed to be like them.
Somewhere between the 6th and 7th grade my hair somehow became a frightening explosion of curls and frizz that I had no idea how to manage. I tried to tame my once soft, flowing mane by locking them down with two barrettes nestled on top of my head. That only made it puff out on each side while the hair on top had a pasted down appearance. This was the perfect storm for kids to take advantage of as they began calling me “bird’s nest hairdo”. I remember many days trying to hold in the tears from being tormented by how I looked, what I wore, or because of my painfully shy disposition.
My poor self-image expanded in Junior High with four years of braces and headgear that went over and up the back of my head, so I had to wear pigtails every day. I was growing taller than most of the girls and many of the boys in my class and remained awkwardly thin. As most other girls were beginning to develop in Junior High, my body held back until I was mid-way through my Junior year of High School. My self-image was at an all-time low. I just didn’t know that I had the option to see things differently.
Even though I eventually learned how to tame my unruly hair, ended up with a beautiful set of teeth, and began to love and accept my body, I carried that self-image from childhood through High School and beyond. It’s hard to drop the story of our conditioned awareness when we don’t even know we have a story to change.
From Powerless to Powerful
Years of conditioning and believing I was not worthy of complements created an invisible deflector as I would awkwardly smile, look away, and brush them off. Now in my mid 50’s I have had a lot of healing and reprogramming regarding the acceptance and belief of my own beauty and self-worth. Even though my husband is generous with his compliments, this particular complement caught me entirely off guard. I just got off a plane after flying all day, had no makeup on, was sweaty and probably smelled, and my hair was a mess! Please, I can go on!
At that moment, something acted swiftly and courageously inside of me. I looked my husband in his eyes and accepted the gift of his heartfelt compliment with a big and bold smile of confidence and inner-knowing. I could actually FEEL my radiance glowing brighter as the message of his truth merged with the awareness of my own radiance and beauty! I could feel the little girl within me, the one who was tormented all those years and felt helpless, hopeless, and worthless smile from ear to ear as she too saw her true beauty, worth, and power.
It’s Time to Say Yes!
After my husband’s heartfelt compliment, the words out of my mouth were an enthusiastic “yes” and “thank you”! Yes, because I know that I am beautiful! Thank you, because I was honored that my husband was sharing how he sees me from the truth of his heart. How he sees the woman he calls his wife, and her inner, as well as outer beauty and radiance. I, too, see and feel that beauty within me, and I know it radiates throughout me. My Inner Goddess has Awakened!
YES, I know that I glow from the radiance of my Inner Light. YES, I know I am beautiful and become more beautiful when I choose to remember the radiance of my Divinity. YES, you can know this as well.
Why isn’t it always this easy? Why do we, as women, feel the need to justify why we are not beautiful? Why do we think our beauty does not measure up to the fantasy of beauty which society has so craftily placed in our minds? Why do we tend to feel that we are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, tall enough, short enough, thin enough, curvy enough, young enough, or even spiritual enough? This list can go on endlessly! I think you get the point!
You are Enough
Right now, in this very moment, I ask You to STOP.
I ask you to take a DEEP BREATH, close your eyes, and BECOME PRESENT with YOU.
Become present with the fact that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
YOU ARE RADIANT.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.
You are enough when you think you are not. You are enough when you are exhausted from all that life throws your way. You are enough when you feel hopeless or unloved. You are enough if you have been abused and tormented. You are enough when you think you look old, or fat, too skinny, too tall, or too short. You are enough if you think your boobs are flabby, too small, or too big. You are enough if you have cellulite, age spots, gray hair, or no hair. You are enough, no matter the color of your skin. You are enough if you have wrinkles, scars, acne, thousands of moles, or sagging muscles. You are enough if you are bedridden or in a wheelchair. You are enough when you are raging during your moon cycle or menopause. You are enough if you are experiencing illness. You are enough if you don’t know what your life purpose is or how to find it.
The point is you are not only enough; you are the radiance, power, beauty, and truth of the Divine Universe. Once you remember this, your life and how you move through it will radiate the story of your highest purpose and greatest potential.
Changing Your Story
When you remember your own divine radiance and beauty, you know that this is something that NO-ONE can ever take away from you. The old story you may carry within you about how you are not enough in some way, shape, or form no longer applies when you know the truth of who you are.
You were born enough, and you will ALWAYS be enough. Period.
It does not matter what anyone ever told you. It does not matter what you may have told yourself, or what you believe. Right now, at this moment, it is time to change the story of your belief to a new one. A story in which you remember the beautiful, radiant, divine woman or man you were born to be. It’s time to change your story about who you think you are and embrace your true beauty and inner radiance and the Goddess Within.
There is no changing anything but your own programmed beliefs of who you think you are. But YOU have to do this. This is your belief, and no one can change it for you but you. Yes, it’s nice to have someone remind you of this. The reminder is only because they see the beauty and radiance reflecting from you! The true reminder is one of your own knowing when you connect with your own Divine Light. If you need a reminder from someone outside of yourself, then I am that person, right now, telling you it is so.
Now, go and shine your Light. Change your story! Let the flow of your Inner Radiance be the projector for your beauty, grace, and divinity. The next time someone tells you that you are beautiful, smile. Look that person in the eyes and say “thank you”. And let it be so.
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